so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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