so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
