I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
