I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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