good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
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