Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
should my penis look like a turkey
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
