I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
