I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
