Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
