Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
