I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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