ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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