White coat. Heels.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
