I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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