Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Randomize
