Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
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