Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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