1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
