well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Quick, to the slutcave!
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
