C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I just threw up on my dentist
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
