I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
