I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
she told me i tasted like america
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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