he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
