i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
