On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
