Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
