I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
