Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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