It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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