best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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