There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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