ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize