I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
