you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
