Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
