I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize