The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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