I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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