we made out on top of his cat.
love makes seman taste better
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
