I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
She's just so happy...and so naked.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
