they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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