I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Randomize
