Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize