I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I just googled if crying burns calories
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
