are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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