Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize