I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
