i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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