I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
