Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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