He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
she told me i tasted like america
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
