Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Randomize
