pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
