Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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