I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize