i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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